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Standing Up To A Narcissistic Pervert

Standing Up To A Narcissistic Pervert

Whether it's with a romantic partner or a housemate, there's no doubt that a relationship with a narcissist can be very challenging. But are there ways to cope better? Or is it better to leave the relationship?

Signs you are living with a narcissistic pervert

We all put ourselves first at times, but narcissists focus on themselves and their needs to a far greater degree. Sometimes it's easy to recognise a narcissist, but covert narcissism can be harder to detect. The behaviour of narcissistic perverts is often hurtful and confusing to those who live with them. The signs that you're dealing with a narcissist include:

  • A lack of empathy with others
  • Grandiosity and a tendency to exaggerate their accomplishments
  • A reluctance to apologise - they won't admit to being at fault unless they can benefit from it in some way
  • An overreaction to even slight criticism and a tendency to blame others for their mistakes
  • Lying, manipulating and mistreating people close to them to get what they feel they deserve


How to cope with a narcissist

If you're living with a narcissist, it can be stressful, exhausting and damaging to your mental health. But when you understand what makes a narcissist tick, you may be able to manage your relationship better while looking after your own wellbeing. Here are some insights that you may find helpful:

Don't take it personally

Narcissists can't change their behaviour without professional help. NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) is often linked to factors such as trauma, childhood abuse, genetics and upbringing. However, narcissistic behaviours such as manipulation or gaslighting feel like personal attacks.

You can encourage a narcissist to seek therapy, but remember you're not responsible for fixing their behaviour. It's not your fault, and you didn't do anything to cause their actions.

Set clear boundaries

Set clear, non-negotiable boundaries about what you aren't willing to accept in your relationship. For example, you might state that you won't tolerate swearing or rudeness when conversing. If they indulge in this behaviour, don't argue; just end the conversation and walk away.

It's essential to enforce your boundaries and carry out the consequences immediately.

Bach Flower Mix 77 helps you be more assertive and resilient and more able to say "No".

When you don't give in, the other person is more likely to take you seriously next time. But it's an ongoing process so keep reminding others about the behaviours you will not tolerate.

Look out for gaslighting

Narcissists often engage in the form of manipulation known as gaslighting. They do this by denying reality or rewriting history so that you start to doubt yourself.

They may flatly deny that they did or said something. Or they may try to undermine your self-confidence by accusing you of overreacting or misunderstanding the situation. Or they may say they were only joking and that you're being too sensitive.

It isn't easy to deal with gaslighting as it's often a case of one word against another. Try to have witnesses present during conversations, and ensure that important communications are done by email, so you have a written record.

When you know someone is gaslighting you, make them aware that you know what they are trying to do and that you will not tolerate this behaviour.

Nurture your self-esteem

Narcissists will run down and undermine others to boost their sense of self-worth. Therefore, one of the biggest challenges of living with a narcissistic person is to ensure that your self-esteem stays healthy.

It's not only people with poor self-esteem who can be duped by a narcissist. It's easy to be charmed by their charisma and confidence in the early days of a relationship. But as you start to know them better, it's soon clear that these traits are actually narcissism. So, boost your self-esteem to help you cope with potentially damaging narcissistic behaviours. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself for your mistakes and engage in positive self-talk.

Talk to others

Seek support from people who care for you. When you're in a relationship with a narcissistic pervert, it can be challenging not to lose your sense of identity. So turn to people who accept and support you and with whom you can be your true self. Having friends who understand what you're going through can relieve some of the stresses of being in a relationship with a narcissist.

Leaving a narcissist

If a narcissist is causing you anxiety and making it impossible for you to function normally, it may be time to walk away from the situation. Continuing to live with someone with NPD can seriously harm your mental wellbeing. And if the relationship has turned dangerously toxic or abusive, it's essential to seek help. Speak to a trusted friend, family member or mental health professional.

A final thought

It isn't easy to live with a narcissist. It can be draining and stressful, but taking care of yourself is vital so that you stay supported, strong and mentally well.

Remember not to take narcissistic behaviours personally - you aren't the problem! Instead, build clear boundaries, boost your self-esteem and seek support from others.

Last but not least, follow your gut instincts. You don't have to stay in a relationship if you aren't happy. Getting away from a situation is often the best thing you can do for your mental wellbeing.


Sources:

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder.htm

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/narcissism-symptoms-signs

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/basics/narcissism

Created by Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.

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Standing Up To A Narcissistic Pervert

Standing Up To A Narcissistic Pervert
Standing Up To A Narcissistic Pervert

Whether it's with a romantic partner or a housemate, there's no doubt that a relationship with a narcissist can be very challenging. But are there ways to cope better? Or is it better to leave the relationship?

Signs you are living with a narcissistic pervert

We all put ourselves first at times, but narcissists focus on themselves and their needs to a far greater degree. Sometimes it's easy to recognise a narcissist, but covert narcissism can be harder to detect. The behaviour of narcissistic perverts is often hurtful and confusing to those who live with them. The signs that you're dealing with a narcissist include:

  • A lack of empathy with others
  • Grandiosity and a tendency to exaggerate their accomplishments
  • A reluctance to apologise - they won't admit to being at fault unless they can benefit from it in some way
  • An overreaction to even slight criticism and a tendency to blame others for their mistakes
  • Lying, manipulating and mistreating people close to them to get what they feel they deserve

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  • Personal combination
  • Based on your symptoms and character
  • Bach flower remedy personally selected by Tom
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Discover how Personal Bach flowers remedy - Wizard can help you

How to cope with a narcissist

If you're living with a narcissist, it can be stressful, exhausting and damaging to your mental health. But when you understand what makes a narcissist tick, you may be able to manage your relationship better while looking after your own wellbeing. Here are some insights that you may find helpful:

Don't take it personally

Narcissists can't change their behaviour without professional help. NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) is often linked to factors such as trauma, childhood abuse, genetics and upbringing. However, narcissistic behaviours such as manipulation or gaslighting feel like personal attacks.

You can encourage a narcissist to seek therapy, but remember you're not responsible for fixing their behaviour. It's not your fault, and you didn't do anything to cause their actions.

Set clear boundaries

Set clear, non-negotiable boundaries about what you aren't willing to accept in your relationship. For example, you might state that you won't tolerate swearing or rudeness when conversing. If they indulge in this behaviour, don't argue; just end the conversation and walk away.

It's essential to enforce your boundaries and carry out the consequences immediately.

Bach Flower Mix 77 helps you be more assertive and resilient and more able to say "No".

When you don't give in, the other person is more likely to take you seriously next time. But it's an ongoing process so keep reminding others about the behaviours you will not tolerate.

Look out for gaslighting

Narcissists often engage in the form of manipulation known as gaslighting. They do this by denying reality or rewriting history so that you start to doubt yourself.

They may flatly deny that they did or said something. Or they may try to undermine your self-confidence by accusing you of overreacting or misunderstanding the situation. Or they may say they were only joking and that you're being too sensitive.

It isn't easy to deal with gaslighting as it's often a case of one word against another. Try to have witnesses present during conversations, and ensure that important communications are done by email, so you have a written record.

When you know someone is gaslighting you, make them aware that you know what they are trying to do and that you will not tolerate this behaviour.

Nurture your self-esteem

Narcissists will run down and undermine others to boost their sense of self-worth. Therefore, one of the biggest challenges of living with a narcissistic person is to ensure that your self-esteem stays healthy.

It's not only people with poor self-esteem who can be duped by a narcissist. It's easy to be charmed by their charisma and confidence in the early days of a relationship. But as you start to know them better, it's soon clear that these traits are actually narcissism. So, boost your self-esteem to help you cope with potentially damaging narcissistic behaviours. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself for your mistakes and engage in positive self-talk.

Talk to others

Seek support from people who care for you. When you're in a relationship with a narcissistic pervert, it can be challenging not to lose your sense of identity. So turn to people who accept and support you and with whom you can be your true self. Having friends who understand what you're going through can relieve some of the stresses of being in a relationship with a narcissist.

Leaving a narcissist

If a narcissist is causing you anxiety and making it impossible for you to function normally, it may be time to walk away from the situation. Continuing to live with someone with NPD can seriously harm your mental wellbeing. And if the relationship has turned dangerously toxic or abusive, it's essential to seek help. Speak to a trusted friend, family member or mental health professional.

A final thought

It isn't easy to live with a narcissist. It can be draining and stressful, but taking care of yourself is vital so that you stay supported, strong and mentally well.

Remember not to take narcissistic behaviours personally - you aren't the problem! Instead, build clear boundaries, boost your self-esteem and seek support from others.

Last but not least, follow your gut instincts. You don't have to stay in a relationship if you aren't happy. Getting away from a situation is often the best thing you can do for your mental wellbeing.


Sources:

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder.htm

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/narcissism-symptoms-signs

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/basics/narcissism


Marie Pure

Other articles


What to do when the spark is fading

What to do when the spark is fading

Why do you feel butterflies at the start of a new romance, and how can you keep the flame burning in a long term relationship as the spark starts to fade?

Read the complete article

7 Reasons Why Your Child is Underperforming

7 Reasons Why Your Child is Underperforming

As parents, we often worry about a poor school report as much, if not more, as our kids do! And if your child's grades are slipping, you'll be looking for reasons and if there's anything you can do to help.

Read the complete article

Is the world as we know it over

Is the world as we know it over?

Since the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic, governments around the world have taken unprecedented measures to stop the spread of coronavirus. The rapid changes we've seen have had an impact on almost every aspect of our lives.

Read the complete article

verleden-loslaten

Letting go of the past: 5 tips

Lynn Anderson told it very nicely in her song “I beg your pardon; I never promised you a rose garden”. Life isn’t all roses and everybody experiences something they would rather not once in their life.

Read the complete article

Why you're not the best

Why you're not the best

What are your aims in life? Do you plan to be rich, to be a top footballer, to be a good parent, or to become Prime Minister? However efficiently you plan your life, sooner or later you are going to come up against obstacles to achieving your goals.

Read the complete article

Live Forever the Habits of People Who Live a Long, Healthy Life

Live Forever: the Habits of People Who Live a Long, Healthy Life

Legends of immortality have been told and retold throughout history. From ancient Greek myths to modern movies and novels, the dream of eternal youth has been passed down from generation to generation.

Read the complete article

Do you 'Musturbate' too much

Do you 'Musturbate' too much?

Do you suffer from a disorder known as "musturbation"? This term was first coined in the 1950s by psychotherapist Albert Ellis and described the way a negative inner voice rules our minds and bludgeons us with words such as "must", "should", and "ought".

Read the complete article

Are things moving too fast for you

Are things moving too fast for you?

If you're worried that the world is changing too fast, you're not alone: technology is constantly developing, and it can be challenging to keep up with all the changes. As a result, many people - not just the older generations - feel anxious that they might get left behind.

Read the complete article

Let's make 2021 better than 2020

Let's make 2021 better than 2020

For many people, 2020 has been one of the worst years they can remember. The COVID -19 pandemic and social unrest have changed our lives in ways we would not have believed possible a year ago. And when January 2021 comes around, we're still likely to be facing many challenges. Can 2021 be a better year?

Read the complete article

Stop worrying and live in the moment

Stop worrying and live in the moment

People spend so much of their time regretting the past and worrying about the future. But it’s not worth it! Even what happened yesterday doesn't matter anymore! Let go of the past and the future and make the most of every moment.

Read the complete article

Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.

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