Bach Flower Advice

Letting go of the past: 5 tips

verleden-loslaten

Lynn Anderson told it very nicely in her song “I beg your pardon; I never promised you a rose garden”. Life isn’t all roses and everybody experiences something they would rather not once in their life.

Typically, we’ll all need a bit of time to process things after a negative experience. But we go on again after a bit of time. Sometimes negative experiences of the past can put on such a weight that it can cause a burden many years later. In such a case, we can speak of “not being able to let go of the past”. Nevertheless, life with nasty things from the past can make a heavy impact; and not only on our mood but also our general wellbeing.

How do you let go of the past?

  1. To be able to let go of the past, you have to know for yourself that there are some memories you’d rather not have. Don’t try to evade these memories. To be able to let go of them, you firstly need to accept them.
     
  2. The seconds step connects with the first step. You have nasty memories that make your life miserable. But these memories are over and are not in the present. In others words, these memories exist, but you can ban the emotions that went with them.
     
  3. Don’t think too quickly that step 2 worked for you. We like to deceive ourselves in thinking we master our emotions. Because of this faulty thinking, resentment of what went on in the past only grows.
     
  4. Don’t be afraid of the truth. It’s a great relief if you can tell the truth about the past. Okay, this may be hurtful; but hiding the truth hurts you. That’s why you have to try and calmly accept the truth without too many emotions.
     
  5. Directly related to step 4, you should know that there should be no artificial sympathy between the person or people you’re having a problem with. Let them know what they’ve done wrong.

So it all comes down to letting people know in an open, honest and preferably calm way what’s bothering you. Only when the past lessons are wiped out from the blackboard can you write a new future.
A handy and healthy tool for letting go of your emotions is the use of Bach flower remedies. These are natural products, which have no side effects at all. Consulting an experienced Bach flower therapist will allow you to get a custom made mix that will deal with all your problems and will allow you to let go of the past.

Created by Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.

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Letting go of the past: 5 tips

Letting go of the past: 5 tips
verleden-loslaten

Lynn Anderson told it very nicely in her song “I beg your pardon; I never promised you a rose garden”. Life isn’t all roses and everybody experiences something they would rather not once in their life.

Typically, we’ll all need a bit of time to process things after a negative experience. But we go on again after a bit of time. Sometimes negative experiences of the past can put on such a weight that it can cause a burden many years later. In such a case, we can speak of “not being able to let go of the past”. Nevertheless, life with nasty things from the past can make a heavy impact; and not only on our mood but also our general wellbeing.

How do you let go of the past?

  1. To be able to let go of the past, you have to know for yourself that there are some memories you’d rather not have. Don’t try to evade these memories. To be able to let go of them, you firstly need to accept them.
     
  2. The seconds step connects with the first step. You have nasty memories that make your life miserable. But these memories are over and are not in the present. In others words, these memories exist, but you can ban the emotions that went with them.
     
  3. Don’t think too quickly that step 2 worked for you. We like to deceive ourselves in thinking we master our emotions. Because of this faulty thinking, resentment of what went on in the past only grows.
     
  4. Don’t be afraid of the truth. It’s a great relief if you can tell the truth about the past. Okay, this may be hurtful; but hiding the truth hurts you. That’s why you have to try and calmly accept the truth without too many emotions.
     
  5. Directly related to step 4, you should know that there should be no artificial sympathy between the person or people you’re having a problem with. Let them know what they’ve done wrong.

So it all comes down to letting people know in an open, honest and preferably calm way what’s bothering you. Only when the past lessons are wiped out from the blackboard can you write a new future.
A handy and healthy tool for letting go of your emotions is the use of Bach flower remedies. These are natural products, which have no side effects at all. Consulting an experienced Bach flower therapist will allow you to get a custom made mix that will deal with all your problems and will allow you to let go of the past.


Marie Pure

Other articles


Letting go A guide for survivors

Letting go: A guide for survivors

Facing the loss of a family member or close friend is probably one of the most difficult challenges that life throws at us. When we've lost a partner, parent, brother or sister, we're likely to experience intense grief.

Read the complete article

Do you expect too much from others Find out!

Do you expect too much from others? Find out!

Most people are disappointed when others don't meet their expectations. But when you always expect too much, it isn't healthy, either for yourself or for others. If you often find yourself feeling let down by your loved ones or even by strangers, could it be that you have unrealistic ideas of how people should act?

Read the complete article

How to be less judgemental of others (and yourself!)

How to be less judgemental of others (and yourself!)

Do you feel you’re always criticising and judging everyone, yourself included? Do you feel bad about it afterwards? You’re certainly not alone! Read on to discover how you can judge less and start to accept things the way they are.

Read the complete article

5 Signs of narcissistic perversion

5 Signs of narcissistic perversion

Narcissism is a term we often see these days. But what does it mean? It's used to describe a person who is full of themselves or overly vain. However, it's not really about self-love.

Read the complete article

Let's make 2021 better than 2020

Let's make 2021 better than 2020

For many people, 2020 has been one of the worst years they can remember. The COVID -19 pandemic and social unrest have changed our lives in ways we would not have believed possible a year ago. And when January 2021 comes around, we're still likely to be facing many challenges. Can 2021 be a better year?

Read the complete article

What makes it so hard to go back to school

What makes it so hard to go back to school?

Going back to school during a pandemic is a new experience for everyone, and it's understandable if children are feeling anxious about it. We take a look at some of the issues and how you can help your child to get ready for returning to the classroom.

Read the complete article

Six things we think will make us happy, but don't!

Six things we think will make us happy, but don't!

When you think about things that will make you happy, what are the images that come to mind? Wealth, beauty, a dream house, long holidays, a top of the range car? Happiness is not a constant and how happy we feel depends on the way we choose to live our lives. 

Read the complete article

Is the world as we know it over

Is the world as we know it over?

Since the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic, governments around the world have taken unprecedented measures to stop the spread of coronavirus. The rapid changes we've seen have had an impact on almost every aspect of our lives.

Read the complete article

Is your sex life putting your relationship at risk

Is your sex life putting your relationship at risk?

Sexual desire is a complex interaction of hormones, emotions and well-being. When your partner is not as interested in sex as you are, it’s rarely a rejection of you as a person. So it’s essential to be as empathetic as you can regarding your differing libidos.

Read the complete article

Why you're not the best

Why you're not the best

What are your aims in life? Do you plan to be rich, to be a top footballer, to be a good parent, or to become Prime Minister? However efficiently you plan your life, sooner or later you are going to come up against obstacles to achieving your goals.

Read the complete article

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