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Do you feel you're always doing the same things and not getting anywhere? It's common to feel stuck in a rut, treading water and just going through the motions.
The feeling can build up gradually, and you feel like you're just killing time rather than working towards a goal. You might not even notice at first that you're stagnating - here are some signs that you might be getting stuck in a rut:
If you recognise these signs, the first step is to work out what's causing your dissatisfaction. Not every rut is the same - you may be in a rut with your job or feeling bored in a relationship. Friendships, hobbies, your home and your health, can all cause you to feel dissatisfied.
Once you have understood the cause of your feelings, don't blame or criticise yourself. It can be all too easy to minimise the problem and trivialise your emotions. You have a right to feel the way you do - while things may seem OK to others, if you want more from life, it's time to make some changes!
Self-compassion is the key to mental well-being, so start by looking after yourself.
Are you getting enough sleep? Are you eating well and exercising? Do you spend time with people who can support you?
If something is missing, look for ways to care for yourself better. Looking after your well-being will give you the energy to move forward and feel excited about life again.
We're creatures of habit, and sometimes feeling stuck in a rut arises out of boredom. So try to change things up a bit - they don't have to be massive changes, just a few small steps to get you started. Here are a few ideas to add zest to your life:
Watch a new show, sign up for a class or walk a different way to work.
You will learn something new about those around you, and chatting with different people will expand your social circle.
Schedule some time to have fun doing something you love - a hobby, a sport or spending time with friends.
Be spontaneous, and don't be afraid of doing unexpected things.
Research has shown that spending time outside increases mental well-being. For example, walking can lower stress and break the pattern of ruminating on negative thoughts that can trigger depression. In addition, it's an excellent way to build regular exercise into your daily routine.
Studies also show that being outside in nature also boosts creativity. So the next time you feel stuck, go outdoors and pay attention to the world. Let go of negativity, relax and enjoy the beauty around you. You will return to your desk with renewed energy.
It's easy to feel life is unfulfilling when you're not looking forward to anything. Having a sense of purpose is a crucial ingredient for motivation. For example, long-term goals related to your relationships or job can give you a sense of purpose. And it doesn't have to be anything major - even planning a get-together at the weekend gives you something to look forward to and boosts your mood.
And research shows that having something to aim for builds self-control and willpower. Better resilience helps you to cope with stresses and challenges in everyday life while you look forward to future rewards.
Here are some ideas for giving yourself things you can look forward to:
You can look forward to existing events, such as Christmas or a football match. But you can also intentionally make plans for yourself. For example, schedule a day out with friends or a holiday to a new place. Create things you can anticipate and be excited about.
Small weekly or daily rewards, such as going to your favourite cafe at lunchtime or buying yourself some flowers, are great ways to build a sense of looking forward to the future.
Helping others is an excellent way to gain a sense of purpose and meaning in life. Focus on helping a loved one with a project, participate in political activism or volunteer with a local organisation to contribute to the community.
Whether you're dissatisfied with your job, your relationships, or the place you live, only you can take action to make things more exciting and lose that feeling of being stuck in a rut.
You probably already know why you feel unfulfilled and want more out of life. So start to make small changes, chipping away at whatever holds you back. Don't feel guilty; you have a right to get the most out of life. But only you can take action to fulfil your potential, regain your optimism and get your life fizzing again.
Sources:
https://www.royalcornwall.nhs.uk/services/pain/pain-management-service/how-can-i-start-to-prioritise-my-self-care/
https://www.psychalive.org/i-hate-my-life/
Created by Tom Vermeersch
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
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When you think about things that will make you happy, what are the images that come to mind? Wealth, beauty, a dream house, long holidays, a top of the range car? Happiness is not a constant and how happy we feel depends on the way we choose to live our lives.
Being happy is something everybody strives for, but unfortunately there are a lot of people who go through life unhappily. A lot of people take life how it is.
Do you suffer from a disorder known as "musturbation"? This term was first coined in the 1950s by psychotherapist Albert Ellis and described the way a negative inner voice rules our minds and bludgeons us with words such as "must", "should", and "ought".
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It is not always obvious when someone is experiencing depression. Some people with depression mask their symptoms, hiding their feelings behind a smile to convince others they are happy.
Find out if you're suffering from imposter syndrome
Do you sometimes feel your achievements are not the result of your hard work and skill but are just luck? And do you fear that one day, someone will reveal you as an imposter or fraud? You might have imposter syndrome!
Standing Up To A Narcissistic Pervert
Whether it's with a romantic partner or a housemate, there's no doubt that a relationship with a narcissist can be very challenging. But are there ways to cope better? Or is it better to leave the relationship?
How to beat irrational anxieties
Irrational anxieties can seem overwhelming, affecting every aspect of your life. Learn how to beat your fears and worries and take back control.
How to stop everything going wrong
Do you always feel that everything’s always going wrong? Find out how to stop this cycle of bad thoughts in its tracks. When you think positively, things will start to appear positive and you will eventually feel more positive and optimistic.
Is the world as we know it over?
Since the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic, governments around the world have taken unprecedented measures to stop the spread of coronavirus. The rapid changes we've seen have had an impact on almost every aspect of our lives.
Do you expect too much from others? Find out!
Most people are disappointed when others don't meet their expectations. But when you always expect too much, it isn't healthy, either for yourself or for others. If you often find yourself feeling let down by your loved ones or even by strangers, could it be that you have unrealistic ideas of how people should act?
Do you feel you're always doing the same things and not getting anywhere? It's common to feel stuck in a rut, treading water and just going through the motions.
The feeling can build up gradually, and you feel like you're just killing time rather than working towards a goal. You might not even notice at first that you're stagnating - here are some signs that you might be getting stuck in a rut:
If you recognise these signs, the first step is to work out what's causing your dissatisfaction. Not every rut is the same - you may be in a rut with your job or feeling bored in a relationship. Friendships, hobbies, your home and your health, can all cause you to feel dissatisfied.
Once you have understood the cause of your feelings, don't blame or criticise yourself. It can be all too easy to minimise the problem and trivialise your emotions. You have a right to feel the way you do - while things may seem OK to others, if you want more from life, it's time to make some changes!
Self-compassion is the key to mental well-being, so start by looking after yourself.
Are you getting enough sleep? Are you eating well and exercising? Do you spend time with people who can support you?
If something is missing, look for ways to care for yourself better. Looking after your well-being will give you the energy to move forward and feel excited about life again.
We're creatures of habit, and sometimes feeling stuck in a rut arises out of boredom. So try to change things up a bit - they don't have to be massive changes, just a few small steps to get you started. Here are a few ideas to add zest to your life:
Watch a new show, sign up for a class or walk a different way to work.
You will learn something new about those around you, and chatting with different people will expand your social circle.
Schedule some time to have fun doing something you love - a hobby, a sport or spending time with friends.
Be spontaneous, and don't be afraid of doing unexpected things.
Research has shown that spending time outside increases mental well-being. For example, walking can lower stress and break the pattern of ruminating on negative thoughts that can trigger depression. In addition, it's an excellent way to build regular exercise into your daily routine.
Studies also show that being outside in nature also boosts creativity. So the next time you feel stuck, go outdoors and pay attention to the world. Let go of negativity, relax and enjoy the beauty around you. You will return to your desk with renewed energy.
It's easy to feel life is unfulfilling when you're not looking forward to anything. Having a sense of purpose is a crucial ingredient for motivation. For example, long-term goals related to your relationships or job can give you a sense of purpose. And it doesn't have to be anything major - even planning a get-together at the weekend gives you something to look forward to and boosts your mood.
And research shows that having something to aim for builds self-control and willpower. Better resilience helps you to cope with stresses and challenges in everyday life while you look forward to future rewards.
Here are some ideas for giving yourself things you can look forward to:
You can look forward to existing events, such as Christmas or a football match. But you can also intentionally make plans for yourself. For example, schedule a day out with friends or a holiday to a new place. Create things you can anticipate and be excited about.
Small weekly or daily rewards, such as going to your favourite cafe at lunchtime or buying yourself some flowers, are great ways to build a sense of looking forward to the future.
Helping others is an excellent way to gain a sense of purpose and meaning in life. Focus on helping a loved one with a project, participate in political activism or volunteer with a local organisation to contribute to the community.
Whether you're dissatisfied with your job, your relationships, or the place you live, only you can take action to make things more exciting and lose that feeling of being stuck in a rut.
You probably already know why you feel unfulfilled and want more out of life. So start to make small changes, chipping away at whatever holds you back. Don't feel guilty; you have a right to get the most out of life. But only you can take action to fulfil your potential, regain your optimism and get your life fizzing again.
Sources:
https://www.royalcornwall.nhs.uk/services/pain/pain-management-service/how-can-i-start-to-prioritise-my-self-care/
https://www.psychalive.org/i-hate-my-life/
When you think about things that will make you happy, what are the images that come to mind? Wealth, beauty, a dream house, long holidays, a top of the range car? Happiness is not a constant and how happy we feel depends on the way we choose to live our lives.
Being happy is something everybody strives for, but unfortunately there are a lot of people who go through life unhappily. A lot of people take life how it is.
Read the complete articleDo you suffer from a disorder known as "musturbation"? This term was first coined in the 1950s by psychotherapist Albert Ellis and described the way a negative inner voice rules our minds and bludgeons us with words such as "must", "should", and "ought".
It is not always obvious when someone is experiencing depression. Some people with depression mask their symptoms, hiding their feelings behind a smile to convince others they are happy.
Do you sometimes feel your achievements are not the result of your hard work and skill but are just luck? And do you fear that one day, someone will reveal you as an imposter or fraud? You might have imposter syndrome!
Whether it's with a romantic partner or a housemate, there's no doubt that a relationship with a narcissist can be very challenging. But are there ways to cope better? Or is it better to leave the relationship?
Irrational anxieties can seem overwhelming, affecting every aspect of your life. Learn how to beat your fears and worries and take back control.
Do you always feel that everything’s always going wrong? Find out how to stop this cycle of bad thoughts in its tracks. When you think positively, things will start to appear positive and you will eventually feel more positive and optimistic.
Since the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic, governments around the world have taken unprecedented measures to stop the spread of coronavirus. The rapid changes we've seen have had an impact on almost every aspect of our lives.
Most people are disappointed when others don't meet their expectations. But when you always expect too much, it isn't healthy, either for yourself or for others. If you often find yourself feeling let down by your loved ones or even by strangers, could it be that you have unrealistic ideas of how people should act?
Read the complete articleBach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.
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