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Do you feel you’re always criticising and judging everyone, yourself included? Do you feel bad about it afterwards? You’re certainly not alone! Read on to discover how you can judge less and start to accept things the way they are.
We all make judgements about others; it’s part of human nature. We judge people as soon as we meet them, based merely on their appearance, their clothes and their manners. The problem is we don't really know them at all.
We also pass judgement on those we do know. They do or say something that upsets us, and we feel disappointed or angry with them. We don't try to understand their actions: we just think worse of the person.
Judging ourselves against others is one way in which we establish our identities, for good or bad. We may judge our self-worth based on how our attractiveness, intelligence and wealth compare to others. Self-criticism often stems from a lack of self- confidence and anxiety. Bach Flower Mix 44 is formulated to drive away fears while supporting positive emotions and self-belief.
Instagram and Facebook bombard us with glamorous images. But in a way, this is just stage dressing, and we can never know what’s really going on behind the scenes unless we know the person well. Judging ourselves against others who appear more successful, prettier or wealthier is a sure way to suffering anxiety and stress.
We make social judgements about ourselves because we are not completely happy with who we are. It might not be possible ever to be 100% satisfied with ourselves, (and we’d be pretty smug if we were!). However, rather than criticising ourselves, it’s better to self-assess. We can decide how near we are to being the person we want to be without comparing ourselves to others.
While it’s human nature to judge others, it’s not always helpful to us to do so. Being judgemental doesn’t make us happy. These tips will help you to judge less and be more accepting.
When you find yourself passing judging someone because of what they’ve done or how they look, imagine their backstory and the circumstances that might have caused them to act that way. Picture yourself walking in their shoes. Instead of instantly labelling them, try to communicate with them and find out their story. You’ve probably had similar experiences and can remember how they affected the way you felt and acted. Trying to understand someone is the first step towards acceptance.
Once you’ve tried to understand, then just accept. The world is what it is, and most things are beyond your control. Once you’ve acknowledged that you’re unlikely to be able to change the situation, you can stop feeling frustrated, inadequate, angry or envious and can start to move on from these negative feelings.
Be curious and live your life as fully as possible. Packing in as many new and exciting experiences as you can will crowd out self-criticism and leave little room for judging others.
Just because you’ve judged a person as lacking a particular skill, don’t fall into the trap of applying this assessment to all areas of their life. Nearly everyone is better at some things than they are at others: if a person is a poor communicator, they might be great at maths and vice versa.
We need to distinguish between evaluations (judgements) and observations. Evaluations that we make when judging yourself are just opinions, such as “I’m foolish”, or “I can’t motivate myself”. The same applies to our evaluations of others: “He’s doing that all wrong” or “She was very rude to me”. Rather than evaluating a situation, say what you see and express your own feelings regarding the situation. For example, “I’m cross because she pushed to the front of the queue”.
This pause for reflection allows you to judge the action, not the person. Pushing to the front of the queue is a rude action, for sure, but perhaps the person thought they had a good reason for acting in such a way? As the old saying has it, judge the sin, not the sinner.
The judgements we make about others are an unavoidable part of life, but we can all learn to be a bit less quick to judge others and ourselves. Developing new habits and a more positive way of looking at the world will take time and practice, but it’s well worth it as it will make your life happier.
Created by Tom Vermeersch
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
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What can you do if your kid doesn't want to go back to school? Here are our hints and tips to help if your child is expressing a refusal to go to school.
Do you feel you’re always criticising and judging everyone, yourself included? Do you feel bad about it afterwards? You’re certainly not alone! Read on to discover how you can judge less and start to accept things the way they are.
We all make judgements about others; it’s part of human nature. We judge people as soon as we meet them, based merely on their appearance, their clothes and their manners. The problem is we don't really know them at all.
We also pass judgement on those we do know. They do or say something that upsets us, and we feel disappointed or angry with them. We don't try to understand their actions: we just think worse of the person.
Judging ourselves against others is one way in which we establish our identities, for good or bad. We may judge our self-worth based on how our attractiveness, intelligence and wealth compare to others. Self-criticism often stems from a lack of self- confidence and anxiety. Bach Flower Mix 44 is formulated to drive away fears while supporting positive emotions and self-belief.
Instagram and Facebook bombard us with glamorous images. But in a way, this is just stage dressing, and we can never know what’s really going on behind the scenes unless we know the person well. Judging ourselves against others who appear more successful, prettier or wealthier is a sure way to suffering anxiety and stress.
We make social judgements about ourselves because we are not completely happy with who we are. It might not be possible ever to be 100% satisfied with ourselves, (and we’d be pretty smug if we were!). However, rather than criticising ourselves, it’s better to self-assess. We can decide how near we are to being the person we want to be without comparing ourselves to others.
While it’s human nature to judge others, it’s not always helpful to us to do so. Being judgemental doesn’t make us happy. These tips will help you to judge less and be more accepting.
When you find yourself passing judging someone because of what they’ve done or how they look, imagine their backstory and the circumstances that might have caused them to act that way. Picture yourself walking in their shoes. Instead of instantly labelling them, try to communicate with them and find out their story. You’ve probably had similar experiences and can remember how they affected the way you felt and acted. Trying to understand someone is the first step towards acceptance.
Once you’ve tried to understand, then just accept. The world is what it is, and most things are beyond your control. Once you’ve acknowledged that you’re unlikely to be able to change the situation, you can stop feeling frustrated, inadequate, angry or envious and can start to move on from these negative feelings.
Be curious and live your life as fully as possible. Packing in as many new and exciting experiences as you can will crowd out self-criticism and leave little room for judging others.
Just because you’ve judged a person as lacking a particular skill, don’t fall into the trap of applying this assessment to all areas of their life. Nearly everyone is better at some things than they are at others: if a person is a poor communicator, they might be great at maths and vice versa.
We need to distinguish between evaluations (judgements) and observations. Evaluations that we make when judging yourself are just opinions, such as “I’m foolish”, or “I can’t motivate myself”. The same applies to our evaluations of others: “He’s doing that all wrong” or “She was very rude to me”. Rather than evaluating a situation, say what you see and express your own feelings regarding the situation. For example, “I’m cross because she pushed to the front of the queue”.
This pause for reflection allows you to judge the action, not the person. Pushing to the front of the queue is a rude action, for sure, but perhaps the person thought they had a good reason for acting in such a way? As the old saying has it, judge the sin, not the sinner.
The judgements we make about others are an unavoidable part of life, but we can all learn to be a bit less quick to judge others and ourselves. Developing new habits and a more positive way of looking at the world will take time and practice, but it’s well worth it as it will make your life happier.
Some people are overly sensitive to the time change and it can take days, if not weeks, for them to feel right again, while others barely even notice.
Read the complete article
When you think about things that will make you happy, what are the images that come to mind? Wealth, beauty, a dream house, long holidays, a top of the range car? Happiness is not a constant and how happy we feel depends on the way we choose to live our lives.
It's often difficult to say no, but some people never do! So how do you know when to say no and when to say yes?
According to figures from the World Health Organisation, more than 260 million people worldwide suffer from depression. And it's not only adults who are diagnosed with this illness. Children as young as three or four years old can experience depression.
Narcissism is a term we often see these days. But what does it mean? It's used to describe a person who is full of themselves or overly vain. However, it's not really about self-love.
Millions of people furloughed for months are now being recalled to work. Others, who have been working from home throughout the lockdown, are returning to the office. And some jobs have simply disappeared: many people are facing redundancy and will soon have to cope with job hunting. Going back to work after an unprecedented length of time at home is quite a challenge.
Your relationship ends, or you lose your job, and you get stuck in a rut of negative thoughts and suffering. How good are you at letting go of grudges and accepting that some things are beyond your control? Take our quiz to find out!
Read the complete article
Feeling blue? You're not alone! We all feel sad at times; it's a normal human emotion. Sometimes, it's clear to see what has triggered our depression. Common reasons for feeling sad include bereavement, the end of a relationship, losing your job or money problems. But it's not always so clearcut.
As parents, we often worry about a poor school report as much, if not more, as our kids do! And if your child's grades are slipping, you'll be looking for reasons and if there's anything you can do to help.
What can you do if your kid doesn't want to go back to school? Here are our hints and tips to help if your child is expressing a refusal to go to school.
Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.
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