Do you expect too much from others? Find out!

Most people are disappointed when others don't meet their expectations. But when you always expect too much, it isn't healthy, either for yourself or for others. If you often find yourself feeling let down by your loved ones or even by strangers, could it be that you have unrealistic ideas of how people should act?

Do you expect too much from other people, or is it rather that they're neglectful? Are you too needy or clingy? Could it be that you're too keen to jump in and help, to the extent that you often get overly involved? Take the quiz below to find out!

1. I'm looking for love.

a) Not necessarily

b) Agree slightly

c) Agree strongly

2. When I'm talking to my partner or my friends, I repeatedly mention how important I feel our relationship is.

a) Disagree

b) Agree slightly

c) Agree

3. I'm hypersensitive to criticism.

a) Rarely or never

b) Sometimes

c) Always

4. Secretly, I enjoy it when other people have problems because it gives me a reason to help them.

a) Disagree

b) Agree slightly

c) Agree

5. I get satisfaction by helping other people without needing anything in return.

a) True

b) Partly true

c) False

6. I need to be reassured of other people's loyalty and love.

a) Rarely or never

b) Often

c) Always

7. I regard people I've only just met as good friends straight away.

a) Rarely or never

b) Sometimes

c) Always

8. I feel jealous when my partner spends time with their friends.

a) Disagree

b) Agree slightly

c) Agree strongly

9. I love being needed.

a) False

b) Somewhat true

c) True

10. I'm often accused of meddling in other people's affairs.

a) Rarely or never

b) Sometimes

c) Often

11. I feel other people should make me a priority in their lives.

a) False

b) Somewhat true

c) True

Now find your result: add up your scores. Give yourself one point for every a), two for every b), and three for every c).

7-15: You're emotionally self-sufficient and don't expect too much from others.

You give your love unconditionally, and you aren't afraid to help or love others without it being reciprocated. Sharing your time, attention, and assistance never feels like a burden to you: you don't use love to control other people by making them feel they owe you something. They can respond or not, as they choose. This is true in your romantic and family relationships as well as at work.

You know that relationships can change and develop and that sometimes they won't last. But you don't try to force things but just let them go. You can focus on your own needs without being self-centred; you don't depend on receiving love and attention from other people to be happy.

15- 25: You expect too much sometimes!

Most of us come into this category. While you aren't clingy or needy, you probably recognise some of the tendencies outlined in the following category. The first step towards better relationships is to acknowledge that you have some issues and work to resolve them.

25-33: You're desperate to be loved

People who expect too much from others fall into a behaviour pattern that you may not have acknowledged in yourself. If you are in this category, you probably tend to "collect" people who become more and more dependent on you. But they then feel they owe you something in return, and most people don't like feeling indebted.

You feel caring and helpful and probably spend a great deal of time doing stuff for other people and trying to solve their problems. You might think you're making a sacrifice when you share your time/money/love with them. But you aren't really giving anything away for free because you expect to get something in return. People will quickly get a sense that something isn't quite right and may start to feel trapped.

Achieve better relationships by expecting less from others

When you change your patterns of thinking and expect less from others, you'll find that your relationships are better balanced and truly fulfilling.

Concentrate on boosting your confidence and self-esteem. Bach Flower Mix 63 can help you cope with negative thoughts as well as reducing anxiety and increasing self-confidence. Stop doing so much for other people, things that they should manage for themselves: this is just over-compensation for your imagined faults. And if this triggers someone to move on, learn to let them go.

 

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201208/who-wants-be-needy-six-solutions

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/319873

Other articles

Do We Label Too Fast?

Nowadays, it can sometimes seem almost everyone has a mental health issue or learning disorder. But, are we too quick to label people, or is it that we are more aware of the problems? This article looks at some of the issues surrounding these sensitive questions.

7 tips to help your dog with a fear of fireworks

As nice as it is for a person to celebrate New Year, it's not so nice for a dog, especially when the loud fireworks go off the whole night. This is really frightening for many dogs. Read our 7 tips on how you can help your dog with his fear of fireworks.

What makes it so hard to go back to school?

Going back to school during a pandemic is a new experience for everyone, and it's understandable if children are feeling anxious about it. We take a look at some of the issues and how you can help your child to get ready for returning to the classroom.

Subtle signs your child is unhappy

According to figures from the World Health Organisation, more than 260 million people worldwide suffer from depression. And it's not only adults who are diagnosed with this illness. Children as young as three or four years old can experience depression.

Letting go: A guide for survivors

Facing the loss of a family member or close friend is probably one of the most difficult challenges that life throws at us. When we've lost a partner, parent, brother or sister, we're likely to experience intense grief.

Fact or fiction? Is it truly healthy?

There's so much contradictory health advice out there, it gets confusing. One year, butter is said to be bad for you, and margarine is better. The following year, it's the other way around. One article says running causes strain on your joints; another says it's good for you because it increases bone strength.

Do you think too much? Or too little?

Feel like you overthink too much? Having a hard time making decisions? Or feel like you don’t consider your options enough? Find out how to strike a balance.

Are most people good or bad?

Do you sometimes despair about humanity because it seems there are far more bad people than good? Are we primarily selfish individuals, thinking only about our own needs? Or is this cynical belief just because we spend so much time online? The truth is more complicated!

Simple tips to not be afraid of the future

No one knows what the future holds, so don't waste time and energy worrying about it. Read our tips and find out how to stop being afraid of what might never happen.

Let's make 2021 better than 2020

For many people, 2020 has been one of the worst years they can remember. The COVID -19 pandemic and social unrest have changed our lives in ways we would not have believed possible a year ago. And when January 2021 comes around, we're still likely to be facing many challenges. Can 2021 be a better year?