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Your relationship ends, or you lose your job, and you get stuck in a rut of negative thoughts and suffering. How good are you at letting go of grudges and accepting that some things are beyond your control? Take our quiz to find out!
When changes happen, we often respond with anger and resentment, blaming others for our inability to move on. Our anger arises because we can't control the situation. We may blame ourselves for not having worked hard enough, or because we stayed too long in a toxic relationship. We can only move on when we accept that what we can control is our response. Rather than beating ourselves up, we learn from any mistakes we may have made and break the cycle of negative thinking.
The first step to being more compassionate to yourself is to accept that things are what they are. Find out how good you are at accepting things you can't change: read the following statements, tick the appropriate response, and then add up your scores.
1. I'm curious and open to learning and new experiences.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
2. I'm self-aware and have a realistic view of my health, money, and relationships.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
3. If there's something I disapprove of or don't like in the world, I still believe that it's real and that things are the way they are.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
4. I am aware of my emotions, thoughts and desires, including the parts of myself I don't like.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
5. I am aware of my softer, more vulnerable side.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
6. If I dislike something about myself, I accept it and don't try to deny it.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
7. I understand clearly the difference between accepting something and doing what I can to change it for the better.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
8. I can acknowledge physical or emotional pain rather than pushing it away.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
9. Even if it's painful, I accept that particular things are real, whether about myself or others.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
10. I feel my emotions without trying to change or fix them.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
Give yourself 1 point for every time you answered a), 2 points for each b), 3 points for every c), 4 points for every d) and 5 points for every e). Now add up your scores:
You have a clear and accurate view of yourself and the external world and accept things for what they are. Whether regarding health, relationships or money, you look at difficulties honestly and don't run away from facing problems. You accept your deepest feelings and emotions and aren't ashamed or embarrassed about them. Even if you wish your thoughts, desires and feelings were different, you acknowledge them and don't feel a need to suppress or change them.
You have a reasonably good understanding of the external factors that are often beyond your control, such as your health, finances and work. However, there are probably areas where you could apply a little more realism. The same applies to your inner thoughts and feelings: while you might not be aware that you're suppressing emotions, you could explore your inmost desires more deeply. While you understand that there are many things you can't change or control, you know you can make changes that will improve your life.
Currently, you aren't accepting of either your inner feelings or the external world. Are you afraid of what you might find if you examine your deepest emotions more closely? Perhaps your anxiety was caused by past events, and you have been unable to let it go. But today, your fears might not have any basis in reality. Try to develop resilience that will help you to bounce back from internal and external challenges.
If you're stuck in a pattern of negative thoughts, anxiety and depression, Bach Flower Mix 85 contains elm and a balance of pure flower essences to help you overcome fear and boost your confidence. You will be able to make decisions, move on and take on life's challenges again.
Accept that there are things you can't control, don't waste energy on holding grudges and live a happier life!
Sources:
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/reclaim-your-power-by-let_b_731942#:~:text=It's%20found%20within%20the%20lines,t%20like%20something%2C%20change%20it.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201705/how-stop-worrying-about-things-you-cant-change
Created by Tom Vermeersch
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
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Your relationship ends, or you lose your job, and you get stuck in a rut of negative thoughts and suffering. How good are you at letting go of grudges and accepting that some things are beyond your control? Take our quiz to find out!
When changes happen, we often respond with anger and resentment, blaming others for our inability to move on. Our anger arises because we can't control the situation. We may blame ourselves for not having worked hard enough, or because we stayed too long in a toxic relationship. We can only move on when we accept that what we can control is our response. Rather than beating ourselves up, we learn from any mistakes we may have made and break the cycle of negative thinking.
The first step to being more compassionate to yourself is to accept that things are what they are. Find out how good you are at accepting things you can't change: read the following statements, tick the appropriate response, and then add up your scores.
1. I'm curious and open to learning and new experiences.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
2. I'm self-aware and have a realistic view of my health, money, and relationships.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
3. If there's something I disapprove of or don't like in the world, I still believe that it's real and that things are the way they are.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
4. I am aware of my emotions, thoughts and desires, including the parts of myself I don't like.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
5. I am aware of my softer, more vulnerable side.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
6. If I dislike something about myself, I accept it and don't try to deny it.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
7. I understand clearly the difference between accepting something and doing what I can to change it for the better.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
8. I can acknowledge physical or emotional pain rather than pushing it away.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
9. Even if it's painful, I accept that particular things are real, whether about myself or others.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
10. I feel my emotions without trying to change or fix them.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
Give yourself 1 point for every time you answered a), 2 points for each b), 3 points for every c), 4 points for every d) and 5 points for every e). Now add up your scores:
You have a clear and accurate view of yourself and the external world and accept things for what they are. Whether regarding health, relationships or money, you look at difficulties honestly and don't run away from facing problems. You accept your deepest feelings and emotions and aren't ashamed or embarrassed about them. Even if you wish your thoughts, desires and feelings were different, you acknowledge them and don't feel a need to suppress or change them.
You have a reasonably good understanding of the external factors that are often beyond your control, such as your health, finances and work. However, there are probably areas where you could apply a little more realism. The same applies to your inner thoughts and feelings: while you might not be aware that you're suppressing emotions, you could explore your inmost desires more deeply. While you understand that there are many things you can't change or control, you know you can make changes that will improve your life.
Currently, you aren't accepting of either your inner feelings or the external world. Are you afraid of what you might find if you examine your deepest emotions more closely? Perhaps your anxiety was caused by past events, and you have been unable to let it go. But today, your fears might not have any basis in reality. Try to develop resilience that will help you to bounce back from internal and external challenges.
If you're stuck in a pattern of negative thoughts, anxiety and depression, Bach Flower Mix 85 contains elm and a balance of pure flower essences to help you overcome fear and boost your confidence. You will be able to make decisions, move on and take on life's challenges again.
Accept that there are things you can't control, don't waste energy on holding grudges and live a happier life!
Sources:
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/reclaim-your-power-by-let_b_731942#:~:text=It's%20found%20within%20the%20lines,t%20like%20something%2C%20change%20it.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201705/how-stop-worrying-about-things-you-cant-change
We all want to be successful but many of us find the path to achieving our dreams is blocked by our fear of failure. Whether you’re trying to lose weight, go backpacking around the world or start up a new business, you need to accept that you might fail many times over before you achieve success.
Have you ever noticed that some people are instantly likeable? Many people believe that people will only like you because of natural traits you're born with: good looks, talent and sociability. But this is a misconception. Getting people to like you is within your control, and it's all to do with self-belief, knowing yourself and being emotionally intelligent. Here's what to do to be more likeable.
You see the word "toxic" everywhere these days, but what does it really mean? You've almost certainly come across someone who fits the description. Dealing with difficult personalities can be challenging and emotionally exhausting, to say the least.
Some people are overly sensitive to the time change and it can take days, if not weeks, for them to feel right again, while others barely even notice.
Read the complete articleFeeling blue? You're not alone! We all feel sad at times; it's a normal human emotion. Sometimes, it's clear to see what has triggered our depression. Common reasons for feeling sad include bereavement, the end of a relationship, losing your job or money problems. But it's not always so clearcut.
Going back to school during a pandemic is a new experience for everyone, and it's understandable if children are feeling anxious about it. We take a look at some of the issues and how you can help your child to get ready for returning to the classroom.
According to figures from the World Health Organisation, more than 260 million people worldwide suffer from depression. And it's not only adults who are diagnosed with this illness. Children as young as three or four years old can experience depression.
It's natural to compare our own lives with those of others - weighing up the pros and cons of situations helps us make decisions. But there can be a downside when you find you're constantly comparing yourself with others, envying their seemingly perfect lives and wondering why they are luckier, more prosperous, and better looking than you.
For many people, 2020 has been one of the worst years they can remember. The COVID -19 pandemic and social unrest have changed our lives in ways we would not have believed possible a year ago. And when January 2021 comes around, we're still likely to be facing many challenges. Can 2021 be a better year?
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