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Your relationship ends, or you lose your job, and you get stuck in a rut of negative thoughts and suffering. How good are you at letting go of grudges and accepting that some things are beyond your control? Take our quiz to find out!
When changes happen, we often respond with anger and resentment, blaming others for our inability to move on. Our anger arises because we can't control the situation. We may blame ourselves for not having worked hard enough, or because we stayed too long in a toxic relationship. We can only move on when we accept that what we can control is our response. Rather than beating ourselves up, we learn from any mistakes we may have made and break the cycle of negative thinking.
The first step to being more compassionate to yourself is to accept that things are what they are. Find out how good you are at accepting things you can't change: read the following statements, tick the appropriate response, and then add up your scores.
1. I'm curious and open to learning and new experiences.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
2. I'm self-aware and have a realistic view of my health, money, and relationships.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
3. If there's something I disapprove of or don't like in the world, I still believe that it's real and that things are the way they are.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
4. I am aware of my emotions, thoughts and desires, including the parts of myself I don't like.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
5. I am aware of my softer, more vulnerable side.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
6. If I dislike something about myself, I accept it and don't try to deny it.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
7. I understand clearly the difference between accepting something and doing what I can to change it for the better.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
8. I can acknowledge physical or emotional pain rather than pushing it away.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
9. Even if it's painful, I accept that particular things are real, whether about myself or others.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
10. I feel my emotions without trying to change or fix them.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
Give yourself 1 point for every time you answered a), 2 points for each b), 3 points for every c), 4 points for every d) and 5 points for every e). Now add up your scores:
You have a clear and accurate view of yourself and the external world and accept things for what they are. Whether regarding health, relationships or money, you look at difficulties honestly and don't run away from facing problems. You accept your deepest feelings and emotions and aren't ashamed or embarrassed about them. Even if you wish your thoughts, desires and feelings were different, you acknowledge them and don't feel a need to suppress or change them.
You have a reasonably good understanding of the external factors that are often beyond your control, such as your health, finances and work. However, there are probably areas where you could apply a little more realism. The same applies to your inner thoughts and feelings: while you might not be aware that you're suppressing emotions, you could explore your inmost desires more deeply. While you understand that there are many things you can't change or control, you know you can make changes that will improve your life.
Currently, you aren't accepting of either your inner feelings or the external world. Are you afraid of what you might find if you examine your deepest emotions more closely? Perhaps your anxiety was caused by past events, and you have been unable to let it go. But today, your fears might not have any basis in reality. Try to develop resilience that will help you to bounce back from internal and external challenges.
If you're stuck in a pattern of negative thoughts, anxiety and depression, Bach Flower Mix 85 contains elm and a balance of pure flower essences to help you overcome fear and boost your confidence. You will be able to make decisions, move on and take on life's challenges again.
Accept that there are things you can't control, don't waste energy on holding grudges and live a happier life!
Sources:
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/reclaim-your-power-by-let_b_731942#:~:text=It's%20found%20within%20the%20lines,t%20like%20something%2C%20change%20it.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201705/how-stop-worrying-about-things-you-cant-change
Created by Tom Vermeersch
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
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Your relationship ends, or you lose your job, and you get stuck in a rut of negative thoughts and suffering. How good are you at letting go of grudges and accepting that some things are beyond your control? Take our quiz to find out!
When changes happen, we often respond with anger and resentment, blaming others for our inability to move on. Our anger arises because we can't control the situation. We may blame ourselves for not having worked hard enough, or because we stayed too long in a toxic relationship. We can only move on when we accept that what we can control is our response. Rather than beating ourselves up, we learn from any mistakes we may have made and break the cycle of negative thinking.
The first step to being more compassionate to yourself is to accept that things are what they are. Find out how good you are at accepting things you can't change: read the following statements, tick the appropriate response, and then add up your scores.
1. I'm curious and open to learning and new experiences.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
2. I'm self-aware and have a realistic view of my health, money, and relationships.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
3. If there's something I disapprove of or don't like in the world, I still believe that it's real and that things are the way they are.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
4. I am aware of my emotions, thoughts and desires, including the parts of myself I don't like.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
5. I am aware of my softer, more vulnerable side.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
6. If I dislike something about myself, I accept it and don't try to deny it.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
7. I understand clearly the difference between accepting something and doing what I can to change it for the better.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
8. I can acknowledge physical or emotional pain rather than pushing it away.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
9. Even if it's painful, I accept that particular things are real, whether about myself or others.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
10. I feel my emotions without trying to change or fix them.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
Give yourself 1 point for every time you answered a), 2 points for each b), 3 points for every c), 4 points for every d) and 5 points for every e). Now add up your scores:
You have a clear and accurate view of yourself and the external world and accept things for what they are. Whether regarding health, relationships or money, you look at difficulties honestly and don't run away from facing problems. You accept your deepest feelings and emotions and aren't ashamed or embarrassed about them. Even if you wish your thoughts, desires and feelings were different, you acknowledge them and don't feel a need to suppress or change them.
You have a reasonably good understanding of the external factors that are often beyond your control, such as your health, finances and work. However, there are probably areas where you could apply a little more realism. The same applies to your inner thoughts and feelings: while you might not be aware that you're suppressing emotions, you could explore your inmost desires more deeply. While you understand that there are many things you can't change or control, you know you can make changes that will improve your life.
Currently, you aren't accepting of either your inner feelings or the external world. Are you afraid of what you might find if you examine your deepest emotions more closely? Perhaps your anxiety was caused by past events, and you have been unable to let it go. But today, your fears might not have any basis in reality. Try to develop resilience that will help you to bounce back from internal and external challenges.
If you're stuck in a pattern of negative thoughts, anxiety and depression, Bach Flower Mix 85 contains elm and a balance of pure flower essences to help you overcome fear and boost your confidence. You will be able to make decisions, move on and take on life's challenges again.
Accept that there are things you can't control, don't waste energy on holding grudges and live a happier life!
Sources:
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/reclaim-your-power-by-let_b_731942#:~:text=It's%20found%20within%20the%20lines,t%20like%20something%2C%20change%20it.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201705/how-stop-worrying-about-things-you-cant-change
Why do you feel butterflies at the start of a new romance, and how can you keep the flame burning in a long term relationship as the spark starts to fade?
Read the complete article
Sometimes it’s hard to notice when we've become trapped in familiar routines. Take our quiz to find out if you’re stuck in a rut and what you can do about it.
Read the complete article
Whether it's with a romantic partner or a housemate, there's no doubt that a relationship with a narcissist can be very challenging. But are there ways to cope better? Or is it better to leave the relationship?
When we’re stuck in a bit of a rut, the days and nights slip past so quickly that we barely notice them. But life is not a rehearsal!
Have you considered yoga? There are many advantages to practicing yoga. It is a holistic practice benefitting you physically, emotionally & mentally.
You see the word "toxic" everywhere these days, but what does it really mean? You've almost certainly come across someone who fits the description. Dealing with difficult personalities can be challenging and emotionally exhausting, to say the least.
Sexual desire is a complex interaction of hormones, emotions and well-being. When your partner is not as interested in sex as you are, it’s rarely a rejection of you as a person. So it’s essential to be as empathetic as you can regarding your differing libidos.
Bad habits waste your energy and time. They disrupt your life, risk your health and stop you from achieving your aims. So why do we do them? And what can we do to break our bad habits?
Can we learn from our mistakes and develop a stronger, healthier emotional bondwith our kids? To help you identify your weak spots, we’ve rounded up some of the most common mistakes parents make.
It’s such a positive thing to do and hope springs eternal, so why not commit yourself to a change this year? Here’s our tips on how to stick to your new year’s resolutions.
Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.
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Are you unsure which Bach flowers can help you? Contact Tom for free advice.
