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Do you sometimes despair about humanity because it seems there are far more bad people than good? Are we primarily selfish individuals, thinking only about our own needs? Or is this cynical belief just because we spend so much time online? The truth is more complicated!
Anyone who spends most of their days online in chatrooms and forums is more likely to feel that humanity is going to hell in a handbasket. People can be so hateful to one another under the cover of anonymity the internet provides. But those who actually get out there and do real-life stuff are more likely to believe that most people are good and do their best.
One reason for this is the “echo chamber” effect. Search engines learn our likes and dislikes and the things we click on, so the first things we see when we switch on our screens are things that interest us. And so you get individuals finding their “their people” online. So far, so good, but problems can soon arise.
Posters sitting safely behind the anonymity of their keyboards can target individuals and egg one another on to write more and more unpleasant, bullying and outrageous things. Bad behaviour is condoned, a “mob mentality” can snowball, and it can seem as if the whole planet consists of nothing but evil trolls waiting to pile onto their next target.
Social media and the 24-hour news cycle draw our attention to every disastrous event. We feel as if bad stuff is happening in our own backyards, and this leads to a permanent sense of uneasiness. The self-reinforcement of internet “enclaves” and our continuous access to bad news appears to be a toxic combination that can reinforce a belief that there are more bad people than good.
Another reason for believing that more people are bad than good is our inbuilt negativity bias. Thanks to a trick of evolution handed down from our prehistoric ancestors, we pay more attention to negative information than positive. In ancient times, being alert to danger was our key to survival and today, we still tend to dwell on the bad stuff rather than the good.
Our negativity bias causes us to dwell on a bad event or comment even when a much greater proportion of positive events has occurred. For example, suppose you’ve spent the day with friends and had a fantastic time, but during the day, someone made a comment that upset you. That’s what you’re likely to remember the day for and categorise it as bad, rather than the generally positive experience.
We must remember that things are rarely as bad as we think they are. We need to understand that our brains naturally incline towards noticing, processing, and remembering the bad stuff, but this is an overreaction. So we have to find ways to balance our negative bias with positivity. If you feel overwhelmed with negative thoughts, Bach Flower Mix 65 can help to drive away the dark clouds and balance your emotions.
Some other ways to counterbalance our negative bias include:
No one is all good or all bad. It’s more complicated than that: good people can do bad things, and bad people have some goodness in them. You have to take responsibility for your feelings and the way you respond to events. Remember that you can control how much you let bad stuff affect you. Learn to accentuate the positive and appreciate the good things around you. The more you can train your mind to override your inbuilt negativity, the happier your life will be.
Sources:
https://www.psycom.net/negativity-bias
https://markmanson.net/newsletters/mindfck-monday-66?vgo_ee=TsaYq4oqXc1qfn78I2c6ZWQOP8ZXmRzMvz3Yw%2BcA7gI%3D
Created by Tom Vermeersch
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
Is the world as we know it over?
Since the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic, governments around the world have taken unprecedented measures to stop the spread of coronavirus. The rapid changes we've seen have had an impact on almost every aspect of our lives.
You see the word "toxic" everywhere these days, but what does it really mean? You've almost certainly come across someone who fits the description. Dealing with difficult personalities can be challenging and emotionally exhausting, to say the least.
Did you get stuck in the past?
Do you find yourself often thinking about your past? Do you wish you could turn back the clock to days gone by or things as they were before covid disrupted the world?
Feel like everyone takes you for granted? Whether it's working late to prepare a presentation or cooking a special birthday meal for your partner, it's nice to be appreciated when you've made an extra effort. And if it seems as if people don't notice, you might feel as if no one values you.
Do you feel you're always doing the same things and not getting anywhere? It's common to feel stuck in a rut, treading water and just going through the motions.
Standing Up To A Narcissistic Pervert
Whether it's with a romantic partner or a housemate, there's no doubt that a relationship with a narcissist can be very challenging. But are there ways to cope better? Or is it better to leave the relationship?
Hiding a depression: find out if someone you know - or you yourself! - is doing this
It's not always easy to tell if someone has depression. While some signs such as sadness, pessimism and withdrawal from social interaction are easy to recognise, other symptoms may be less obvious. And some people are very good at hiding their depression - even from themselves!
What are your aims in life? Do you plan to be rich, to be a top footballer, to be a good parent, or to become Prime Minister? However efficiently you plan your life, sooner or later you are going to come up against obstacles to achieving your goals.
Letting go of the past: 5 tips
Lynn Anderson told it very nicely in her song “I beg your pardon; I never promised you a rose garden”. Life isn’t all roses and everybody experiences something they would rather not once in their life.
What makes it so hard to go back to work?
Millions of people furloughed for months are now being recalled to work. Others, who have been working from home throughout the lockdown, are returning to the office. And some jobs have simply disappeared: many people are facing redundancy and will soon have to cope with job hunting. Going back to work after an unprecedented length of time at home is quite a challenge.
Do you sometimes despair about humanity because it seems there are far more bad people than good? Are we primarily selfish individuals, thinking only about our own needs? Or is this cynical belief just because we spend so much time online? The truth is more complicated!
Anyone who spends most of their days online in chatrooms and forums is more likely to feel that humanity is going to hell in a handbasket. People can be so hateful to one another under the cover of anonymity the internet provides. But those who actually get out there and do real-life stuff are more likely to believe that most people are good and do their best.
One reason for this is the “echo chamber” effect. Search engines learn our likes and dislikes and the things we click on, so the first things we see when we switch on our screens are things that interest us. And so you get individuals finding their “their people” online. So far, so good, but problems can soon arise.
Posters sitting safely behind the anonymity of their keyboards can target individuals and egg one another on to write more and more unpleasant, bullying and outrageous things. Bad behaviour is condoned, a “mob mentality” can snowball, and it can seem as if the whole planet consists of nothing but evil trolls waiting to pile onto their next target.
Social media and the 24-hour news cycle draw our attention to every disastrous event. We feel as if bad stuff is happening in our own backyards, and this leads to a permanent sense of uneasiness. The self-reinforcement of internet “enclaves” and our continuous access to bad news appears to be a toxic combination that can reinforce a belief that there are more bad people than good.
Another reason for believing that more people are bad than good is our inbuilt negativity bias. Thanks to a trick of evolution handed down from our prehistoric ancestors, we pay more attention to negative information than positive. In ancient times, being alert to danger was our key to survival and today, we still tend to dwell on the bad stuff rather than the good.
Our negativity bias causes us to dwell on a bad event or comment even when a much greater proportion of positive events has occurred. For example, suppose you’ve spent the day with friends and had a fantastic time, but during the day, someone made a comment that upset you. That’s what you’re likely to remember the day for and categorise it as bad, rather than the generally positive experience.
We must remember that things are rarely as bad as we think they are. We need to understand that our brains naturally incline towards noticing, processing, and remembering the bad stuff, but this is an overreaction. So we have to find ways to balance our negative bias with positivity. If you feel overwhelmed with negative thoughts, Bach Flower Mix 65 can help to drive away the dark clouds and balance your emotions.
Some other ways to counterbalance our negative bias include:
No one is all good or all bad. It’s more complicated than that: good people can do bad things, and bad people have some goodness in them. You have to take responsibility for your feelings and the way you respond to events. Remember that you can control how much you let bad stuff affect you. Learn to accentuate the positive and appreciate the good things around you. The more you can train your mind to override your inbuilt negativity, the happier your life will be.
Sources:
https://www.psycom.net/negativity-bias
https://markmanson.net/newsletters/mindfck-monday-66?vgo_ee=TsaYq4oqXc1qfn78I2c6ZWQOP8ZXmRzMvz3Yw%2BcA7gI%3D
Since the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic, governments around the world have taken unprecedented measures to stop the spread of coronavirus. The rapid changes we've seen have had an impact on almost every aspect of our lives.
You see the word "toxic" everywhere these days, but what does it really mean? You've almost certainly come across someone who fits the description. Dealing with difficult personalities can be challenging and emotionally exhausting, to say the least.
Do you find yourself often thinking about your past? Do you wish you could turn back the clock to days gone by or things as they were before covid disrupted the world?
Feel like everyone takes you for granted? Whether it's working late to prepare a presentation or cooking a special birthday meal for your partner, it's nice to be appreciated when you've made an extra effort. And if it seems as if people don't notice, you might feel as if no one values you.
Read the complete article
Do you feel you're always doing the same things and not getting anywhere? It's common to feel stuck in a rut, treading water and just going through the motions.
Whether it's with a romantic partner or a housemate, there's no doubt that a relationship with a narcissist can be very challenging. But are there ways to cope better? Or is it better to leave the relationship?
It's not always easy to tell if someone has depression. While some signs such as sadness, pessimism and withdrawal from social interaction are easy to recognise, other symptoms may be less obvious. And some people are very good at hiding their depression - even from themselves!
What are your aims in life? Do you plan to be rich, to be a top footballer, to be a good parent, or to become Prime Minister? However efficiently you plan your life, sooner or later you are going to come up against obstacles to achieving your goals.
Lynn Anderson told it very nicely in her song “I beg your pardon; I never promised you a rose garden”. Life isn’t all roses and everybody experiences something they would rather not once in their life.
Read the complete article
Millions of people furloughed for months are now being recalled to work. Others, who have been working from home throughout the lockdown, are returning to the office. And some jobs have simply disappeared: many people are facing redundancy and will soon have to cope with job hunting. Going back to work after an unprecedented length of time at home is quite a challenge.
Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.
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