Bach Flower Advice

What to eliminate from your life to be happier

What to eliminate from your life to  be happier

In the twenty-first century, there is too much noise and clutter, both in the environment and in our minds. Is it possible to cut to the chase and eliminate what is no longer necessary in your life? How can you get to the source of the problem and find peace? The answer lies in carefully editing your life, changing certain habits, and seeking the truth at the heart of yourself. It’s not going to be easy, but here’s a list of the things you can eliminate from your life, that will ensure you feel calmer, and access happiness in the future.

Negative people

It’s difficult enough for most of us to remain positive at the best of times, but what you don’t need around you is negativity. If the people in your immediate circle are not cheerleading for you, it’s time to let those friendships and relationships fall by the wayside. The people we spend the most time with, will impact on our thoughts, feelings and our behaviour. We start to think and talk and act like them. If someone is constantly bringing you down, or moaning, you will fall into those patterns too and this will affect your own self-esteem, and your mental health. Try and avoid difficult people if you possibly can, including bosses, co-workers, customers, friends, family, etc. it only leads to confrontation and battles. You should surround yourself as far as possible with people who sparkly about the possibility of you being an amazing success. If they can’t do that, say bye-bye.

Jealousy

In the same vein, you are doing yourself a disservice if you let the green-eyed monster dictate your emotions. Jealousy is a normal part of what makes us human, but you can’t let it take control of you. You will feel a twinge when someone is moving to a fabulous new house, or taking a holiday somewhere exotic, or they’ve managed to find a better job than you. That’s perfectly okay. The thing is, don’t let jealousy exert its’ hold too much, or you’ll become bitter. Jealously demonstrates a lack of confidence in your own abilities and means you’re insecure. You CAN change your future. Be alive to the possibility and knock that jealous emotion on its head!

Self-Loathing

Another emotion to send packing is the feeling of self-loathing. Nothing harms our mental health more than not liking ourselves. It’s the old adage, if you don’t love yourself, then who will? You must accept your individuality, and learn to cherish the unique aspects of your own personality and quirks. Work on believing in yourself, and find ways to believe that you can achieve all that you want to. You are worthy and valuable. Live your life, be amazing!

Wallowing when you make a mistake

Only elephants and hippos should wallow. When you make a mistake you should learn from it and move on. Every mistake is an opportunity to learn something new. So don’t get hung up, admit your mistake and move on. Next!

Dwelling on the past

The one thing that is true about the past, is that you can’t go back. You can never relive a moment except in your memory, and you can’t change anything that happened. Thinking about the past often leaves us feeling sad and lonely, whereas if we embrace the present we can live in the moment and feel content. Thinking about the future should only bring hope.

Worrying about the future.

Just as we can’t change the past, we can’t prevent what happens in the future either. Things will happen, regardless of whether we want them to or not. You can try and be prepared, you can save a little money, and you can stay fit and healthy, but one way or another, there’s no point in worrying about what will be. See the future as a path that is alive with possibility, and only look forward with excitement.

Your poor self-image

The world can be so hung up on the way people look, that many of us forget to take a peep underneath the façade at what actually exists there. Watch your diet and take exercise, but stop worrying about how you look. Be positive about what you physically have to work with. Dress to suit your shape. Mix colours up and say ‘fashion, be damned!’ You don’t have to care what other people think, because it’s your life! Be relaxed about who you are.

Your dissatisfactory career

If you loath your job, if it keeps you awake at night, if you pray you’re going to be ill enough to call in sick, then it’s high time you took a long cold look at what you do for a living. Giving up a job is never an easy decision, but if you know that you have to move on, start making plans now, so that you can make a transition. You have two options. Make the jump immediately and hope you can find work, however lowly and temporary, to tide you over. Or create an action plan of how to get the job you want. This may mean upskilling, or moving, or applying numerous times. You may need professional advice about applications. Start now, and find true happiness when you pursue your passion.

Saying yes!

If you’re over-committed and you need some time to yourself, stop saying yes. If you’re balancing kids, a partner, other relations, friends and pets, where does the time for you come from? If there are too many demands on you from your work place, it’s time to prioritise. Think about the amount of stress all of your commitments place on you, and eliminate the ones that cause the most stress. You cannot be all things to all people, something somewhere has to give.

Lack of organisation

While it is important not to spend too much time procrastinating, and it’s true that the busier you are the more organised you need to be, it is also important to schedule some unscheduled time, and this ironically means being organised! Try to keep blocks of time free for something ‘spontaneous’. This can mean time for yourself – a nap, a book, a long bath, or it can mean time with a partner, friend, or your children. Go to the cinema, take a walk, go shopping, create something. The time is free for you to be yourself.

Clutter

One of the in-things to do at the moment is de-cluttering. If you’re someone who has too much stuff, you’ll find there’s some interesting reading around, both online, and in books, that offer advice about the benefits of getting rid of things. De-cluttering your house helps to free your mind. A clean and organised house helps you focus and feel happier.

Your limiting beliefs

Perhaps the single most vital thing you need to eliminate from your life RIGHT NOW in order to be happy is your limiting beliefs. Every time you think, “I can’t do that,” or “now is not the right time,” or, “I’ll do that when X” then you are limiting your own potential. NOW is the right time. There may not be a later, so do it!

Created by Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.

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What to eliminate from your life to be happier

What to eliminate from your life to be happier
What to eliminate from your life to  be happier

In the twenty-first century, there is too much noise and clutter, both in the environment and in our minds. Is it possible to cut to the chase and eliminate what is no longer necessary in your life? How can you get to the source of the problem and find peace? The answer lies in carefully editing your life, changing certain habits, and seeking the truth at the heart of yourself. It’s not going to be easy, but here’s a list of the things you can eliminate from your life, that will ensure you feel calmer, and access happiness in the future.

Negative people

It’s difficult enough for most of us to remain positive at the best of times, but what you don’t need around you is negativity. If the people in your immediate circle are not cheerleading for you, it’s time to let those friendships and relationships fall by the wayside. The people we spend the most time with, will impact on our thoughts, feelings and our behaviour. We start to think and talk and act like them. If someone is constantly bringing you down, or moaning, you will fall into those patterns too and this will affect your own self-esteem, and your mental health. Try and avoid difficult people if you possibly can, including bosses, co-workers, customers, friends, family, etc. it only leads to confrontation and battles. You should surround yourself as far as possible with people who sparkly about the possibility of you being an amazing success. If they can’t do that, say bye-bye.

Jealousy

In the same vein, you are doing yourself a disservice if you let the green-eyed monster dictate your emotions. Jealousy is a normal part of what makes us human, but you can’t let it take control of you. You will feel a twinge when someone is moving to a fabulous new house, or taking a holiday somewhere exotic, or they’ve managed to find a better job than you. That’s perfectly okay. The thing is, don’t let jealousy exert its’ hold too much, or you’ll become bitter. Jealously demonstrates a lack of confidence in your own abilities and means you’re insecure. You CAN change your future. Be alive to the possibility and knock that jealous emotion on its head!

Self-Loathing

Another emotion to send packing is the feeling of self-loathing. Nothing harms our mental health more than not liking ourselves. It’s the old adage, if you don’t love yourself, then who will? You must accept your individuality, and learn to cherish the unique aspects of your own personality and quirks. Work on believing in yourself, and find ways to believe that you can achieve all that you want to. You are worthy and valuable. Live your life, be amazing!

Wallowing when you make a mistake

Only elephants and hippos should wallow. When you make a mistake you should learn from it and move on. Every mistake is an opportunity to learn something new. So don’t get hung up, admit your mistake and move on. Next!

Dwelling on the past

The one thing that is true about the past, is that you can’t go back. You can never relive a moment except in your memory, and you can’t change anything that happened. Thinking about the past often leaves us feeling sad and lonely, whereas if we embrace the present we can live in the moment and feel content. Thinking about the future should only bring hope.

Worrying about the future.

Just as we can’t change the past, we can’t prevent what happens in the future either. Things will happen, regardless of whether we want them to or not. You can try and be prepared, you can save a little money, and you can stay fit and healthy, but one way or another, there’s no point in worrying about what will be. See the future as a path that is alive with possibility, and only look forward with excitement.

Your poor self-image

The world can be so hung up on the way people look, that many of us forget to take a peep underneath the façade at what actually exists there. Watch your diet and take exercise, but stop worrying about how you look. Be positive about what you physically have to work with. Dress to suit your shape. Mix colours up and say ‘fashion, be damned!’ You don’t have to care what other people think, because it’s your life! Be relaxed about who you are.

Your dissatisfactory career

If you loath your job, if it keeps you awake at night, if you pray you’re going to be ill enough to call in sick, then it’s high time you took a long cold look at what you do for a living. Giving up a job is never an easy decision, but if you know that you have to move on, start making plans now, so that you can make a transition. You have two options. Make the jump immediately and hope you can find work, however lowly and temporary, to tide you over. Or create an action plan of how to get the job you want. This may mean upskilling, or moving, or applying numerous times. You may need professional advice about applications. Start now, and find true happiness when you pursue your passion.

Saying yes!

If you’re over-committed and you need some time to yourself, stop saying yes. If you’re balancing kids, a partner, other relations, friends and pets, where does the time for you come from? If there are too many demands on you from your work place, it’s time to prioritise. Think about the amount of stress all of your commitments place on you, and eliminate the ones that cause the most stress. You cannot be all things to all people, something somewhere has to give.

Lack of organisation

While it is important not to spend too much time procrastinating, and it’s true that the busier you are the more organised you need to be, it is also important to schedule some unscheduled time, and this ironically means being organised! Try to keep blocks of time free for something ‘spontaneous’. This can mean time for yourself – a nap, a book, a long bath, or it can mean time with a partner, friend, or your children. Go to the cinema, take a walk, go shopping, create something. The time is free for you to be yourself.

Clutter

One of the in-things to do at the moment is de-cluttering. If you’re someone who has too much stuff, you’ll find there’s some interesting reading around, both online, and in books, that offer advice about the benefits of getting rid of things. De-cluttering your house helps to free your mind. A clean and organised house helps you focus and feel happier.

Your limiting beliefs

Perhaps the single most vital thing you need to eliminate from your life RIGHT NOW in order to be happy is your limiting beliefs. Every time you think, “I can’t do that,” or “now is not the right time,” or, “I’ll do that when X” then you are limiting your own potential. NOW is the right time. There may not be a later, so do it!


Marie Pure

Other articles


Isn't depression just a fancy word for feeling a bit down

Isn't depression just a fancy word for feeling a bit down?

Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety affect around 1 in 6 people at some stage of their life. Despite it being such a common problem, many sufferers wait months or even years before seeking help.

Read the complete article

Find out if you're suffering from imposter syndrome

Find out if you're suffering from imposter syndrome

Do you sometimes feel your achievements are not the result of your hard work and skill but are just luck? And do you fear that one day, someone will reveal you as an imposter or fraud? You might have imposter syndrome!

Read the complete article

7 Reasons Why Your Child is Underperforming

7 Reasons Why Your Child is Underperforming

As parents, we often worry about a poor school report as much, if not more, as our kids do! And if your child's grades are slipping, you'll be looking for reasons and if there's anything you can do to help.

Read the complete article

Six things we think will make us happy, but don't!

Six things we think will make us happy, but don't!

When you think about things that will make you happy, what are the images that come to mind? Wealth, beauty, a dream house, long holidays, a top of the range car? Happiness is not a constant and how happy we feel depends on the way we choose to live our lives. 

Read the complete article

How to know when to say no

How to know when to say no

It's often difficult to say no, but some people never do! So how do you know when to say no and when to say yes?

Read the complete article

How to break your bad habits

How to break your bad habits

Bad habits waste your energy and time. They disrupt your life, risk your health and stop you from achieving your aims. So why do we do them? And what can we do to break our bad habits?

Read the complete article

Can you accept things you can't change Take our quiz!

Can you accept things you can't change? Take our quiz!

Your relationship ends, or you lose your job, and you get stuck in a rut of negative thoughts and suffering. How good are you at letting go of grudges and accepting that some things are beyond your control? Take our quiz to find out!

Read the complete article

Are things moving too fast for you

Are things moving too fast for you?

If you're worried that the world is changing too fast, you're not alone: technology is constantly developing, and it can be challenging to keep up with all the changes. As a result, many people - not just the older generations - feel anxious that they might get left behind.

Read the complete article

I don't want to!

I don't want to!

Motivation can be somewhat elusive - some days, you just can't seem to make yourself do the stuff you don't want to. But putting things off just leads to stress, frustration and a sense of guilt.

Read the complete article

Are most people good or bad

Are most people good or bad?

Do you sometimes despair about humanity because it seems there are far more bad people than good? Are we primarily selfish individuals, thinking only about our own needs? Or is this cynical belief just because we spend so much time online? The truth is more complicated!

Read the complete article

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