10 subtle ways to appear more confident

No one feels confident all the time! But whether at work, as a parent or in your relationships, appearing confident is the secret to success. Follow our tips, and you'll appear more confident in any situation.

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It's a myth that you must feel confident before you appear confident. But the opposite is often true. While confidence might not be something you're born with, it is something you can develop. When you give others the impression that you're more confident than you feel, you'll find that negative thoughts disappear, and your self-belief grows. Learn how to use body language to your advantage, and you'll be able to achieve your goals.

1. Make eye contact

Making eye contact is crucial for effective communication. If you're naturally a shy person, it might make you uncomfortable to hold your head up and look people in the eye. You might worry that people will think you're staring at them. But eye contact shows that you're confident, friendly and want to engage. People will notice that you're paying attention to them and are listening to what they have to say.

2. Smile

You've probably noticed that confident people smile a lot. A friendly smile makes you seem approachable and friendly and puts everyone at their ease. And when you smile at someone, they're likely to mirror your behaviour and smile back, making them more welcoming and receptive towards you. The physical act of smiling spurs the release of dopamine and serotonin, the hormones that cause us to feel happy and chilled - and when you're comfortable and relaxed, you'll feel more confident.

3. Think positively

We all face times when we feel tired, stressed and anxious, and our self-belief is undermined. But try to turn things around by thinking positively. Rather than being pessimistic about challenges, get creative and look for ways to solve them. Your positive thinking will rub off on other people, and you'll discover that things you thought were annoying or insurmountable are far easier to cope with when you approach them with a positive mindset. And thanks to your glass half full attitude, others will see you as more confident.

4. Do your research

When you're facing a new situation, whether it's a job interview or a date, doing a little preparation and research in advance is an excellent way to appear more confident. For a job interview, find out as much as you can about the company, the role, and if you know their names, the interviewers. Having a few facts at your fingertips will make you look keen and well-prepared and will make you appear more confident during the interview. The same rule applies in a more limited way when dating: it's a good idea to prepare some topics you can talk about easily if the conversation seems to be drying up!

5. Watch your posture

Your posture gives string visual clues about your confidence or lack of it. Crossing your arms makes you appear defensive while slouching indicates that you'd much rather be somewhere else! These are both things that we often do without realising, so pay attention to your posture. Stand up tall, straighten your shoulders, and don't fidget!

6. Put your phone away

A mobile phone is a very useful prop for people with social anxiety. Whether in a queue, on a date or at a party, they continuously fiddle with their phone, pretending to text or even faking conversations to avoid interacting with people. If you want to seem more confident, keep your phone in your bag or pocket. Using your phone as a barrier makes you seem uninterested and remote.

7. Slow down

When shy people talk, they often rush nervously because they don't like being the centre of attention. Practice speaking more slowly and clearly and don't scramble your words to come to an end more quickly. And in a conversation or meeting don't be afraid to ask questions or to admit that you don't know something.

8. Be open to learning and self-improvement

Appear more confident by identifying weaknesses that you could improve. Are there bad habits you'd like to give up? Subjects you don't know much about? A new skill or language that you could learn? Schedule time every day, or even a couple of times a week, dedicated to improving your knowledge. Learning should be a lifelong process, and acquiring new skills will make you feel and look more confident.

9. Stand by your values

Take a moment to think about your values, the things in your life that are most important to you. Are you living up to them or just going through the motions? Being mindful of them and striving to hold yourself to high standards will give others the impressions that you're self-confident.

10. Be yourself

The bottom line is, you're amazing! When you're acting a role and trying to be something you're not, you won't fool others for long. Let others see who you are. Talk about the things that enthuse you; people will know that you're comfortable in your skin and you'll exude confidence.

Sources:

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/building-confidence/how-to-appear-confident/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-ways-to-overcome-shyness-and-social-anxiety

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