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When you think of addiction, you may automatically associate the word with drugs or alcohol, but actually the extent of addiction within our culture should not be limited this way. Addiction is the compulsive use of any substance - yes – but also of any person, feeling, or behaviour. The addict will tend to disregard the consequences of their addiction and what they do to feed it.
There is no agreement among professionals and academics about the causes of addiction. There are some suggestions that addiction is genetic – that people are born with a predisposition for some form of addiction; while others suggest a chemical imbalance in the body which makes some people more susceptible to addiction. A third theory sees addiction as a form of mental illness.
The first stage of dealing with an addiction is admitting that you are addicted and identifying to what. This will take a lot of strength on your part, and you should take comfort in the fact that you found this strength within yourself. If you can take this first step, the rest will follow, with time and effort on your part. There’s no overnight fix. You’re in this for the long haul.
Many people espouse going cold-turkey to beat addiction, and that may well work for you, but another school of thought recommends a much more holistic approach. Recovery from addiction can come about by creating a new life for yourself where none of the factors that brought you to addiction in the first place exist.
This may mean changing many things about your current life as it stands. Everything that you identify that has got you to this point of addiction will need to be changed. If you don’t let them go, you will be denying your best chance of recovery. Create a journal for your recovery, and write down all your ideas to help yourself get better, as well as all the problems that you face along the way. Picture the life you want to have and create a plan – with small easily accomplished steps – to get you there.
Start by avoiding all high risk (to you) situations. This can mean avoiding being tired, hungry or alone, depending on what it is that triggers your addiction. You may also need to avoid people, places or things. It stands to reason that if you always have a drink when you go to the pub, you need to avoid the pub. If you ‘use’ in the company of certain people – and this could be drinking, smoking, overeating, sex or drugs – then you must avoid those people. If there are any ‘things’ that make your addiction worse – like the TV for example, then change your habits. Don’t sit down in front of the TV in the evening, find something else to do.
Start taking better care of yourself. Any addiction will have a physical toll, so take a pride in yourself and how you look and feel, and you’ll be less likely to want to damage that. Change your diet to something that is fresh, healthy and good for you. Take exercise. These changes don’t need to be extreme – just learn how to cook good nutritious meals from scratch and avoid processed food. Exercise can be a walk in the park, or half an hour with a DVD every other day. Be consistent and persistent. That’s the key!
Throw in some relaxation too. If you struggle with insomnia, or you are constantly wound up, you will need to address this issue. Too much stress or tension will mean that you head for addiction once more. There are so many useful relaxation techniques available you should find something to suit you. Search the internet for ideas. Something as simple as a long bubble bath, or reading a good book will help you. Meditation is brilliant, or you could try yoga, or gentle exercise. Create a timetable for yourself and slot in relaxation time as the most important part of your day.
Create a new set of rewards for yourself. Previously you might have rewarded yourself by allowing your addictive behaviour. Now you need to find something else to reward yourself with. This could be a small collectible, a physical memento of how well you’re doing, or a bath, a massage, or a drive out somewhere. Make sure your reward is not related to your addiction, but is something that you really want!
If you manage to stop using for a while, but don't learn how to relax, your tension will build until you'll have to relapse just to escape again. Tension and the inability to relax are the most common causes of relapse.
Stop lying. At the heart of every addiction there is deception. For the most part this is to yourself. You will have become proficient at lying and very poor at telling the truth. Be aware that lying will trap you in your addiction. You won’t be able to move on. Recovery can only begin when you tell the truth. Be honest with everyone – your doctor, your boss, your friends and family. But mostly be honest with yourself.
Good luck.
Created by Tom Vermeersch
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
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When you think of addiction, you may automatically associate the word with drugs or alcohol, but actually the extent of addiction within our culture should not be limited this way. Addiction is the compulsive use of any substance - yes – but also of any person, feeling, or behaviour. The addict will tend to disregard the consequences of their addiction and what they do to feed it.
There is no agreement among professionals and academics about the causes of addiction. There are some suggestions that addiction is genetic – that people are born with a predisposition for some form of addiction; while others suggest a chemical imbalance in the body which makes some people more susceptible to addiction. A third theory sees addiction as a form of mental illness.
The first stage of dealing with an addiction is admitting that you are addicted and identifying to what. This will take a lot of strength on your part, and you should take comfort in the fact that you found this strength within yourself. If you can take this first step, the rest will follow, with time and effort on your part. There’s no overnight fix. You’re in this for the long haul.
Many people espouse going cold-turkey to beat addiction, and that may well work for you, but another school of thought recommends a much more holistic approach. Recovery from addiction can come about by creating a new life for yourself where none of the factors that brought you to addiction in the first place exist.
This may mean changing many things about your current life as it stands. Everything that you identify that has got you to this point of addiction will need to be changed. If you don’t let them go, you will be denying your best chance of recovery. Create a journal for your recovery, and write down all your ideas to help yourself get better, as well as all the problems that you face along the way. Picture the life you want to have and create a plan – with small easily accomplished steps – to get you there.
Start by avoiding all high risk (to you) situations. This can mean avoiding being tired, hungry or alone, depending on what it is that triggers your addiction. You may also need to avoid people, places or things. It stands to reason that if you always have a drink when you go to the pub, you need to avoid the pub. If you ‘use’ in the company of certain people – and this could be drinking, smoking, overeating, sex or drugs – then you must avoid those people. If there are any ‘things’ that make your addiction worse – like the TV for example, then change your habits. Don’t sit down in front of the TV in the evening, find something else to do.
Start taking better care of yourself. Any addiction will have a physical toll, so take a pride in yourself and how you look and feel, and you’ll be less likely to want to damage that. Change your diet to something that is fresh, healthy and good for you. Take exercise. These changes don’t need to be extreme – just learn how to cook good nutritious meals from scratch and avoid processed food. Exercise can be a walk in the park, or half an hour with a DVD every other day. Be consistent and persistent. That’s the key!
Throw in some relaxation too. If you struggle with insomnia, or you are constantly wound up, you will need to address this issue. Too much stress or tension will mean that you head for addiction once more. There are so many useful relaxation techniques available you should find something to suit you. Search the internet for ideas. Something as simple as a long bubble bath, or reading a good book will help you. Meditation is brilliant, or you could try yoga, or gentle exercise. Create a timetable for yourself and slot in relaxation time as the most important part of your day.
Create a new set of rewards for yourself. Previously you might have rewarded yourself by allowing your addictive behaviour. Now you need to find something else to reward yourself with. This could be a small collectible, a physical memento of how well you’re doing, or a bath, a massage, or a drive out somewhere. Make sure your reward is not related to your addiction, but is something that you really want!
If you manage to stop using for a while, but don't learn how to relax, your tension will build until you'll have to relapse just to escape again. Tension and the inability to relax are the most common causes of relapse.
Stop lying. At the heart of every addiction there is deception. For the most part this is to yourself. You will have become proficient at lying and very poor at telling the truth. Be aware that lying will trap you in your addiction. You won’t be able to move on. Recovery can only begin when you tell the truth. Be honest with everyone – your doctor, your boss, your friends and family. But mostly be honest with yourself.
Good luck.
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Read the complete article
Do you feel you’re always criticising and judging everyone, yourself included? Do you feel bad about it afterwards? You’re certainly not alone! Read on to discover how you can judge less and start to accept things the way they are.
Narcissism is a term we often see these days. But what does it mean? It's used to describe a person who is full of themselves or overly vain. However, it's not really about self-love.
It's natural to compare our own lives with those of others - weighing up the pros and cons of situations helps us make decisions. But there can be a downside when you find you're constantly comparing yourself with others, envying their seemingly perfect lives and wondering why they are luckier, more prosperous, and better looking than you.
Whether it's with a romantic partner or a housemate, there's no doubt that a relationship with a narcissist can be very challenging. But are there ways to cope better? Or is it better to leave the relationship?
It happens to everyone at times: we start doubting ourselves. We worry about the decisions and whether we can face future challenges that life has in store. And sometimes we feel that we just aren't good enough.
Can we learn from our mistakes and develop a stronger, healthier emotional bondwith our kids? To help you identify your weak spots, we’ve rounded up some of the most common mistakes parents make.
Do you always feel that everything’s always going wrong? Find out how to stop this cycle of bad thoughts in its tracks. When you think positively, things will start to appear positive and you will eventually feel more positive and optimistic.
Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.
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